I have been in the process of cleaning out my room over the last few months, getting ready to move into the apartment with Michael once we are married. As I have cleaned, I have found many things that I had completely forgotten about: notes from swimmers, funny pictures from college & high school, ticket stubs to concerts & basketball games, etc. And with all of these things comes a flood of memories. However, nothing has moved me as much as what I found today: an old journal that I had kept through middle & high school. As I read through it, I was saddened about how confused my heart was, and how I was so drawn by the things of the world. However, the last entry brought tears of joy to my eyes. On May 12, 2001, after finishing my first year of college at THE Univeristy of North Carolina, I wrote the following:
Ok so I was reading over this journal and I couldn't help but laugh at myself hysterically! But its really neat to see how I have changed over the years. I just finished up my first year at UNC (the best place in the world!). I love college so much... this year has been an amazing experience and I have grown so much. I finally know God has forgiven me & I finally feel like Christianity is my religion and my beliefs, not just my parents. God has blessed me so much this year, it is overwhelming. I remember the first day at Chapel Hill and how scared and nervous I was, and now I know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I have met the most amazing people here... like Warren & Lindsay. I don't know how I survived w/out them first semester. The 3 of us were definately not friends at the begining of the year, but now they have definately become my best friends. Warren is gonna come to Charlotte in a couple weeks... I am so excited, but then he will be in Colorado for 8 weeks (sadness :( ). But I know God has amazing things planned for all of us this summer! At the begining of the year I started talking to this guy @ UNCC and we dated through February... but its such a good thing we aren't together anymore... I definately felt like I was compromising while I was dating him. Maybe one day I'll have a God centered relationship. Nah, actually I have decided that the next person I kiss is going to be my husband... I don't want to waste my kisses on anyone else or give anymore of myself to someone because I keep getting hurt. But I KNOW that God has someone out there for me who is just gonna blow my mind. It's weird to be home after I've been gone for 9 months. But I think it will be good because I will get to spend a lot of time with my brother... he has gone throught a lot this year and I fee like I need to be here for him. We are working together this summers so we will get to spend a lot of time together. After I left for school I realized how important he is to me. I never realized how close we were until I was away from him. Haha, I talk about him ALL the time @ school... but i can't help it, he is such a big part of my life that I have to talk about him, we've shared too much and too many memories for me to not talk about him!
I'm coaching at Wynfield this summer and I am so excited. I've wanted to be head coach for a while, and this is a great place! Ha, both Warren & I are history majors so he decided (for me) that we are gonna teach at the same high school and coach together. That's crazy for me to think that far in advance but at the same time... only 4 more years and I'm out in the "real" world. I will be so sad when I graduate from UNC, I would stay there forever if I could. But I'm not gonna worry about that right now. OK I'm out!
<3 Shaynah Renee :)
How amazing is God's sovereign plan! I look back now on how he slowly changed my heart & opened my eyes up to His amazing grace, and I am astounded! My God is so faithful; He has promised to finish the work He began in me until the day of completion. Although His work is far from over, remembering His past faithfulness to me encourages me have hope for His present & future faithfulness & lovingkindness. I cannot deny that His mercy knows no ends! My marriage to Michael is just one example of God's goodness. I will praise Him in all things, because I know my God is for me, is perfecting me, loves me, saved me, covers & protects me, and is working His sovereign plan in me for my good & His glory.
